maple leaves.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

ilovecrosscountry.

i

am

overly

sensitive

and

possessive

khfksdjbngkjreyg.

`12:36 AM__;

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

i just finished watching avatar and now i feel :O. like THATS ALL!???! ive been watching it since it came out years ago and i just finished all 3 seasons in 4nights. IT WAS FUNNY, IT HAD A GOOD ENDING, IT DIDNT SHOW ANY KILLING THOUGH VIOLENCE WAS INVOLVED (hence good for children), OMGAD IT WAS SUCH A GOODSHOW + GOOD ENDING + GOOD PLOT. AND I DONT SAY ANY CARTOON IS GOOD BUT THIS WAS LIKE THE BESTEST OF THE BESTEST BEST BEST. IT WAS FILMED SO WELL. HARDLY ANY LOOPHOLES. THOUGH FICTION AND YET SOMEWHAT REALISTIC IT WAS AWESOME. I LOVE IT TO THE MAXZXZXXXZXZXZ ahh i know i can watch it again!! lucky they still show on tv :D

and of course. now powerpuff girls will be 2nd or 3rd hahahaha. i actually got sick of it okayzxzxz. though i know i still watch it after 8 years.

-------------

ok. update for today. other than watching avatar like mad. i watched bedtime stories with tiff today. AND IT WAS GOOD. I LOVE IT. disneymovies rockzxzxz. i am happy. and I WENT RUNNING TO BMC AND BACK HOME WITH MY SISTER TODAY 36MIN!!! AT 11+PM WHOO.
now i just need to find the needle for the crossstitch for lilin, complete a jigsaw which im gna start on this weekend?, buy clothes for myself & at the same time spend time with ppl, and then i will start operationindependence. and i will feel so accomplished AND PROUD TO SAY I HAD A GREAT HOLIDAY IN SINGAPORE AT HOME WHOOT.

----------
OPERATION INDEPENDENCE
i have come to a decision.
though im not sure how long i will stick to this decision.
but its what i want
and it really makes the best use of my holidays
and its convenient
and very constructive

and will make me more independent

1. work for my dad at home
reason1: i can learn all there is to learn about business from him (who better not to than the one whos always correcting me about everything i learn outside?)
reason2: i can wake up whenever i want
reason3: i dont need to shop for office clothes. WAHAHA.

disadvantage: flow of money in our family doesnt increase -.-

2. take over one of the maid's job.
reason 1: mum is having an issue with one of them AGAIN.
reason 2: i think learning house work + cooking is an essential/necessity for me though nobody actually told me that. i feel not independent without it
reason 3: means i have to wake up early, hence discipline
reason 4: i can learn from my mum whom i think is better than anybody else though i know others will say their mums are better -.-"
reason 5: ive been wanting to do this for very long

little problem: i still dont really dare to clean dog poop.

BUT further advantage: i get to spend time with both my parents by learning from them. HOW COOLzz IZ THATZXZXZ. and when i go on holiday in aussie in feb, theres no need to ask for leave. WAHAHAHA.

list of things to do:
- more driving
- cross stitch, jigsaw, shopping
- keep running?
- i owe tiff $2.50
- lilin owes me neoprint
- more piano?
- CUT HAIR THIS WEEK!!!! (100%SURE THIS TIME. its at my elbow now -.-)
- love people close to me.
- i think i missed out something.

ok now i need to wake up at 1030 to go out with my mum, finish level 1 of IMM, find that gift, go for driving practice + evaluation, and then that Xcountry gathering. wowwwzxzxz im so glad i finished avatar today. tmr/afteriwakeup im gna be damn shag and have my body clock back to normal. goodday.

`5:41 AM__;

Friday, December 26, 2008

im having an emo session.

suddenly i keep going out. i see familiar faces.
i see more couples from my school outside than i ever did in school. (well duh.)
and it was pretty shocking. hahaha

i made a few good friends AFTER A's from my own school.

i hope they last.

and i cant find a needle for my cross stitch im doing for a friend. im reallly really arghh.

i dont really like driving lessons (theory). -.- theyre a bore to the maXXZxzxzx

i missed another good run at macritchie cos of the stupid rain.

i love my family.

so why do i feel so empty now...?

partly because i feel like im not needed. it makes me insecure that i always depend on others but if they dont depend on me i cant depend on them anymore.
there wouldnt be much of a difference to my friends' life if i didnt exist
and i know i can always count on my family... and yet theres this empty feeling... i really dont know what to think now. why am i even thinking it and not just letting things fall into place??????

hope keeps me alive and going... but then,

this is just another repeat in itself.

`3:46 AM__;

Thursday, December 18, 2008

:( you never initiated anything
(ie you would stop caring about my existence if i said nothing to you)
:( you didnt disagree with me when i criticised myself
(ie i am really that horrible)
:( you give me the feeling that you dont care
:( i really really want you to care
:( i thought you'd care compared to most of the ppl i knew
:( your apology doesnt sound sincere
:( there isnt enough time
:( it is the 17th of dec.

:) i went for cross camp
:) i enjoyed myself at camp
:( i wanted it to end later
:) you didnt have anything to do with camp!
:( i fell aslp watching a movie again. (3x this holidays. the last time i did that was like in pri sch -.-)
:) i really loved camp.
:/ i slept frm 0018 to 0220 on the first night and couldnt sleep for the rest of the night.
:) i slept like a log on the 2nd night but i think i woke a little too early.
:) i love cross country
:) i love running
:( im a slob.
:) im having a holiday now
:/ i actually dont think studying for driving is that easy.
:/ im going to find a job next month
:) i love my teammates
:) theres this weird sort of niceness in all of my teammates+coach. YES every single one of them including the new juniors.
:) im glad i have cross country in my life
:( i think my comp crashed.
:( i am aching
:) i am aching
:) i ran alot within the past 48hours
:) i love running
:) cross country makes me happy. and its always because of many many many different reasons.

and the things that give me :( mostly seem to have to do with YOU. or i have put in too much faith in you.

:( i must really be so terrible that i actually shoo ppl away :(

`12:53 AM__;

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

i suddenly feel very confused about my life.

blogging is a waste of time & completely unnecessary & something i consider a bad habit which i feel very halfhearted about stopping.

i should learn to make myself more motivated to do things in the morning other than slping/running/doing things i HAVE to do (eg study/going sch/work/...)

`8:26 AM__;

bugged. i screwed my slping times so much. now ive been waking up at 6+7am for the 3rd consecutive day.

since prom on 2nd dec tues: i woke up at 1230pm
couldnt slp till 3rd dec wed 12pm-6pm
4th dec thurs 10am-6pm
5th dec fri 9am-4pm
6th dec sat about 5+am-2pm
6th dec 7pm-9pm nap
no sleep the night before stand chart. i found myself lying next to my sister for 5hours till 650am. we got there at 8, cheered for familiar faces and nus runners giving out their flags for 4+ hours (which was surprisingly not boring), had lunch at cafe cartel, walked around raffles city & then i got home at 4pm and crashed
7th dec sun 4pm-10pm
8th dec mon 2am-645am went for trg at hortpark
8th dec 1115pm-9th dec 7am
10th dec today 12am-645am. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i suddenly feel so empty. like everytime i wake up in the afternoon till i sleep at night i always have things to do.. but when it comes to waking up in the morning: its just school/training. nothing more. i dont even feel in the mood for anything in the morning. and ytd morning. i just stoned till 12pm.

maybe i should have just joined them for trg at macritchie... afterall its still not too late? i really do miss macritchie anyway... but then now im not fit enough to run alone. i know the last time i tried running alone somewhere around prelims i almost found myself fainting. and not to mention vomitting during sundown. blaaa. -.-

ohyesss speaking of running, trg at hortpark on monday was just amusing. it rained like crap the scenery was great and we ran up a killer slope shorter than the one we did after sec4 prelims at 1st&3rd avenue next to hci. and when we were jogging up at walking pace, my stomach was hurting and the rain was blowing against us we couldnt stop laughing. and the run wasnt so bad, eventhough it hurt throughout the run in the rain, we all took the wrong route and ended up doing a shorter one.. the worst part was STRENGTHENING
20x3sets of burpees,starjumps,pushups,backraisesakasuperman,crunches.
the first 2 exercises killed me.
and when i woke up on tues morning my shoulders were aching like @#$%^&*

anw ytd met up with tiff and teo @ vivo ben&jerry's. havent eaten icecream for super super super long. so i ordered something pretty big and it was my lunch. -.-" afterall it is B&J's should order something good instead of the typical icecream. and well i feel like we didnt chat enough. hurrrr. but it feels good to have the 3 of us come together again :)
i watched bolt ytd. i LOVED ITTTTTTTttttttt. i get the same feeling when i watch meet the robinsons (same producer) the part that makes you tear and in the end life is just so sweet because cute good ppl exist. :D they give me hope in my own life.

what are my plans today? possibly meeting up with yihui again, and hopefully with leticia. probably baking with the maid and going to my cousin's house to teach her jc work. omgzxzxzxz. that day my dad mentioned some chemical that had a ketone inside and i was like... yes i know this word ketone from chem. and i had to think for a while before i could rmb wth a ketone was. sigh.. and i studied that chpt about 4x in jc (for test, terms, prelims & a's) =.= this is so retardeddd. maybe a levels ended less than a month ago and i forgot so much alr. -.-

apart from going out, i havent been spending much time alone actually. there are still a number of things i'd like to do alone . reading harrypotterbook 5&6 ( i seem to have forgotten their contents) , beedle&thebard (tinybook from jkrowling), playing more song pieces, jigsaws, crossstitch. maybe i should extend my holiday to after cny before i staart finding a job.

since alevels ended i watched: quantum of solace (waste of $$$), hsm3, the good the bad & the weird (another waste of $$$), beverlyhillschihuahua, wild child, bolt.
i want to watch: madagascar 2, bedtime stories, australia, igor (ithinkjohncusacksoundsliketomhanks), nick&norah's infinite playlist, angus thongs & perfect snogging (only in cathay), the secret life of bees (cathay only), ...... (ithink thats alr more than enough.)

among them are 4 disney movies.

theres a new pixar movie coming up in june: UP. it looks abit way off your imagination but yet funny and i seem to have this obsession with every disney movie that comes out in theatres that i must watch it. =/ it'll be coming out with harrypotter6th movie!! :)

there goes alot of $$$ in movies. ._____.

i want to go to the pasar malam at redhill before it goes away!! they have my pjs!

`6:52 AM__;

Saturday, December 06, 2008

you

bring

out

the

best

in

me.

(: (: (: (: (: (:

you really do.

im going with my sister to help teamnus for stand chart tmr! so eggcitingzxzxz. it was a last min thing and i get a free nus shirt! whootzxzxz and i can also see 1000ppl i know running. hehehehehehe.

and i just signed up for driving lessons ytd! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

`3:41 PM__;

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

friends.............

i love every single one of you. love you all like nuts. even if i turned out to look like some ugly shit in my prom photos.
these pictures are special to me.

and then... there are those i wish i took photos with but didnt really get the chance to eventhough i bumped into them. oh dear me. how can like that oneeeee

well i have less photos than i thought i'd have. probably cos alot of other friends didnt come ): i came home at 4am. i actually went to a bar (= postprom party) for the first time of my life. it turned out more fun than i'd expected and i think i probably gave my classmates a shock (cos i ruined my guaikia reputation). and for the first time in my life i walked around orchard road from centrepoint to taka and back between 2am to 3+am with a really good friend. we didnt take any photos.. but this memory will stay in my head. even if my shoes were killing me, it was so cool i walked in orchard road when it was closed, when the lights were off, when we could actually shout walking outside takashimaya and no one would care and hop into a hotel and just plop ourselves on the sofa and talk.

yes i will cherish my friends made in jc. even the ones i may have lost.

on a lighter note: BRENDAS BACK WOOHOOHOOHOO and yihui is leaving sad sad sad . blaaaaaa. i dont really feel slpy now. i look so BLAAA in my photos compared to my sec 4 ones. sjkfljsgiort. i am a poothead. i have a poothead.. T___T i love my friends. (:

`5:27 AM__;