maple leaves.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

i feel inferior,
sometimes i even question why some people are so nice to me.
sometimes one comment from a person could just make me forget about everything else people say.
):
terms in one month. i havent studyyet. gonna start for chem this week. bzzzzz. at least its only organic chem and not everything from chpt 1.
i had a good trg and very hot pe ytd. today i wake up back pain. then in sch leg and back ache. now back ache.
sunday 12am i watched raise yourvoice. today i just found out they're showing it on 58 next month. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- same thing happened last year. i borrowed hoiyans dvds and they ended up showing them the following month on tv. ?!??!?!! -.-
i still feel inferior and still dont quite know the person i see in the mirror today. cos i keep thinking i see the me from yesteryear and not today. i am worse than last time. but i have grown. i sense it from my thinking. suddenly discipline seems so hard. at least if i can pack right after this i'll be sleeping before 12 today. thats a good thing.

`11:22 PM__;

Sunday, January 27, 2008

i just watched raise your voice on youtube. its a chickflick staring hilary duff and oliver james. compared to others, i actually love this chickflick. the instruments, plot - i love it. im not a fanof her singingthough, but i thought she was good at some parts.
i think i am growing spiritually, i have learnt to see meanings in movies, and i actually thought this one was really meaningful, and left me stuff to think about life. i also feel like when i have the time, i'd like to go to an arts school. sing, dance, play flute again? ok need to consider $$. hahaha. or... just carry on on the safe side doing sciences. i do not mean to give myself too much credit but i think im partially allrounded. (please note: partially) i realise my music isnt too perfect actually. i can hear, but not super well. i can do archaelogy too! i have so many options open. i sorta closed the music and the geog ones though. but eversince my piano exam, ive been paying alot more attention to music harmonies, backgrounds, instruments. -.-"

anywayzz digressing. i really like the show and would like to watch it again. i want to watch 27 dresses. mr ang's & miss lee's farewell today. i like AC cross team. i want to focus. i feel in better control of myself now actually. but need more of it la.
today im very happy with myself cos i forced my lazy tired butt out of bed and i had quite a good trg today. and got to meet TNg and tiff. i feel warm inside. temporarily. goodnight.

`3:12 AM__;

Friday, January 25, 2008

things to do:
1) chem - weekend assignment, tutorial, study for spa
2) math tutorial
3) phy tutorial
4) econs tutorial

i met my sec 3-4 seating partner mary last tues in acsi to pass the card to mdm. didnt see mdm, but was very glad to see mary.
i met up with tiff, mel, mel, ger, jo, aud at aud's house last fri. really happy to see them.
MG did very well for o levels this year. brenda leaves for aus tmr night.

i was watching she's the man the other day i came home early and i liked this quote:
It's just like what Coach says before every game: Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. I think our best chance to be great here today, is to have you play.

and there was this advertisement that they kept showing when i was watching heroes over the weekend:
Once upon a time,
a sleeping beauty awakens (shows glass shoe in water)
a princess finds her unicorn (shows girl with horse)
a wizard waves his wand (a man in a crowd raises his hand out with a camera)
a shining star guides the way (a girl is walking to some place)
a pirate discovers hidden treasure (a wandering man and a girl suddenly make eye contact)
a knight slays a dragon (a fireman puts out fire)
secret worlds are revealed and all (people walk around in masks)
before the clock strikes midnight.

it was advertising nokia n82. but i liked the way the advert was made.

`11:46 PM__;

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

i walked to school last thurs.left the house at 0630 and reached at 715 :) heh. it was a nice walk :)
i watched heroes season one over the weekend
i came home early today, i have swim pe tmr
im gonna read gp package.

`4:42 PM__;

Saturday, January 12, 2008

whoa. 2nd week of school and i never felt so stressed. i almost died on mondaY! but things turned out alot better on wednesday onwards. im quite relieved. i have a good feeling about this year. :)
other than the few exceptions of napping everyday, trying to wake up on time.

my sister left for germany on thurs. i guess my mind wasnt exactly prepared to feel anything cos i know she'll be back in 6months. but of course in these 6 months, she wont be there whenever i want to see her.

`9:50 PM__;

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

oH. this suckzzz. so,
new perspective?
last resort?
i am stubborn.
life is......

i was watching My Best Friend's Wedding and started to realise how i actually could feel myself in julia roberts character's position. its creepy. i know when i was young i'd prob think how could someone be so stupid/crazy. but recently i've been feeling abit emotionally overwhelmed that i really start doing things that make me lose my sanity. i must train up my self control now or it'll become harder in time to come.

`12:44 AM__;

Sunday, January 06, 2008

i fear

i worry

i want to hide

i dont want to embrace it

`6:29 PM__;

Saturday, January 05, 2008

i like catherine zeta jones "and all that jazz" from chicago. im not a jazz person but i like this song heh. i think the movie turned out to be more interesting than i thought when i watched it and i really liked the music there. (:

school's started. i dont quite know what to say but i've been having the eekiest, most gross, annoying trainings. i shant go into details. anw i have a more positive outlook on this year. (: or maybe things that are gonna happen just hasnt really entered my head. but im super super glad and feel really lucky that i have few breaks and end before 2.50pm EVERYDAY. long breaks are a super waste of time. i have 2+2period breaks on mon and thurs, no break on tues (lessons from 810to1310), 4period break on wed, 2 on fri.
hahahah im so going to make good use of my time. i feel really grateful about it. XD its more similar to MG timetable - one break, end sch by 3, have most lessons in the same classroom. i just dont like having base classroom at level 6. but now i can use much more time to nap, do work, and wait for trg. i still have chinese -.- and my terms start at the end of next month. the hwk's gonna keep on coming, trg's not gna stop till april so.. i guess i must start studying soon. but after april i think im really gna make good use of my time. :D im sort of looking forward to it but at the same time really do wish i can improve my gp and econs to finally get above D before then. im either always failing or getting Es. ive failed every single econs test. and for exams i've been failing by like at most 2marks for econs. -.- bah.

ive also been feeling very tired i want to sleep now. its 8:03pm.
i slept at 11+ on wed, nap 2hrs on thurs and fri. i think i should sleep onw till tmr morning. need to read econs (by tues), do gp (by mon??), and find time for chem (by tues).
i feel like leaving my music on while i sleep. if it werent for my music, my comp wouldnt even be on. hahahahaha. i waste electricity. .__.
should i sleep till morning now? or just nap? if i nap tonight cannot sleep then i screw my bio clock again. maybe i sleep now and might actually wake up in the morning on a free day for the first time in years.
i feel like im talking to myself when i blog. its quite boring when ppl read it so i do hope no one actually reads it. heh.

`7:57 PM__;

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

i feel uncomfortable. i stayed up to do math cos it was the only hwk i could start on and after i finished it, itdoesnt feel so important to do other work. =/ well i stayed up until 9am and woke up at 615pm. and i feel restless, i dont know why but i suddenly felt so overwhelmed by i dontknowwhat i feel like doing something.
i feel like talking to somebody. just somebody. i dont know who.
i feel like doing something.
maybe watching cartoons on youtube,
playing some game, i dont know. but since its the new year i figured i should do some reflections here and maybe some resolutions...

2007, i never felt more tired than ever. i never felt more awful at myself, broke more words, spent more money, learnt to be more open-minded? but half my head wasnt ready so when i did become open-minded, another part of me got really angry with myself for doing so..
i also learnt to appreciate celebrities, know that their existence is not just all fame and fortune and know that there is indeed more to what we see on tv.
i learnt to appreciate music. much much more - eversince i passed my last exam. i started liking artists i didnt really like?

2008, Alevels, new form teacher, being jc2, wake up earlier, sleep earlier, be a better student, be a better person - i hope it turns out well, i hope that i can achieve goals i set out for myself. i hope it turns out to be a great year.
and i hope for my dog. that she may somehow be able to lead a better life this year than last year's. somehow.

funny, i thought i'd be writing alot more here but actually its quite short.. heh.
i have a feeling that i might stay up until morning today.

`1:32 AM__;