maple leaves.

Friday, December 28, 2007

whoa. im listening to the "best disney album in the world ...ever". it consists of a 3cdbox with soundtracks from various disney movies. its a christmas gift from my aunt and im in love with all 3cds. and i never felt more sure of wanting it. (: i hardly go to any cd shops. but it just so happened this hols i actually looked around that cd shop with yihui and my sis and then i saw this album and really really really wanted it. i think its a great gift. i love it. (: im not done listening to it but i've looked through the stuff and its amazing. i started looking at it since like 3am.. heh and im quite tired acutlaly but i wanna listen to the songs.. and maybe skip those im super familiar with already then go to bed. ohbtw, i thought national treasure WAS COOoollll. we watched the 1110 show at tiongbahru and it was so empty. only one person was selling tickets and the food. theyre both different parts but it was all one same person. and the theatre was so empty. only 19 ppl inside only. hahahahhaa. and i spent more $$$ than i expected. X_X but the buys were worth it. i do not regret.

anw, my recent tv overdose has led me to a 2nd dream job: work anywhere in disney. ^^ not act though. prob just voice actor or something hahhaha. i cant believe i love disney so much.
i was looking at the stuff inside and the 3 cds have like soundtracks from almost 50 movies with 70+ songs altogether. they dont have everything i guess but its cool enough. (: the movies are like dated from 1933 earliest - the three little pigs to 2006 - hannah montana. btw 2nd earliest is snow white 1938. and i didnt know cinderella sleeping beauty dumbo pinochio peterpan were so old.. like since 1940 to 1952.. O.O i dunno what benefit i get from knowing this but i feel very amazed and really have great respect for disney. (: though i do dislike some disney tv series on disney channel.. but maybe kids will like it.. im in love with almost all the movies. ^^ i havent watched bambi, mary poppins, aristocats, and i vaguely rmb dumbo &snow white. ive watched almost all of the rest in the album. (: heeheeheee ok. i love disney.

ohmygosh, im looking at the tiny booklet that says about the songs from what movie/show, timing, performer etc.. and its really cool to see the same name appear in different movies. like singing voice of mulan = jasmine from aladdin and like for movies in 1960s some sherman brothers have been doing the music&lyrics, and there are other composers whose names appear in differnt movies.. so coooooool! ok i guess i shouldnt just expect them to have their name appear once.. -.-"

`4:25 AM__;

Thursday, December 27, 2007

ohmygoshhhhhhhhhh. im meeting hannah lim at 1030-1045 tmr morning!!! (aka in about 5hours.) watching national treasure. ;)
and i slept from 9am to 622pm today. (26dec)
and i still havent started on work cos the cross stitch took longer than expected! ah. after my movie tmr i will come home and go on hwkcrash course. NOTHING WILL COME IN MY WAY! except maybe a nap.
i will really do work tmr. finally.^^

the cross stitchlooks great. but i cant believe it took so much of my time. i feel so angry with myself. how many times i've unpicked and ughhh i made quite a few errors but on the whole, it doesnt look obvious. (: i'd love to post some pictures up but my comp dont like me to upload photos on blogger. anw, im actually not quite complete. i have a few french knots to make for dots. like the the dot for the letter i and the spots on the flower that looks like pollen and the 3 dots on the lady bug. hrm. and i wont continue on it until someone who knows how to do french knots can teach me. i tried following the instructions but they dont seem to work. or the instructions arent clear enough. it looks complete already though.

ok hwk: econs e learning, math, chem one paper, gp articles.
schedule for the rest of the week:
thurs: wake up, meet hannah, go home nap/do work, watch love actually, do work.
fri: do work
sat: do work
sun: my family has lunch with 2 other families, cross christmas party
mon: trg, do work, miss lim's house warming? i dont feel like giong. must do work.
tues: boooooo. packing and mental preparation for sch and doing more work. and watch the xmen trilogy on star movies!
maybe i should find time to swim for an hour. i swam like 5 times rom last last wed to last thurs and i have a funny slight goggle tan.
after tmr i shant spend anymore money. ;) and i have all the time to do work. less time for tv. it hink i've had a good dose of it to make me last the rest of next year without it. heh. i really need to read the news and get better sleeping habits. i hoep i have enough time to finish work. cos im relaly gonna try to do work everyday, every single minute. execpt when i watch xmen and love actually. ohcrap i also wanna watch i am legend with my parents.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dearrrrrrrrr *bangs head against wall*

anw for the past 2 days, i've been sleeping at awful times in my attempt to finish the cross sttich, i do until i fall asleep in the morning still holding it and then i wake up awfully late. and bla. also, 2 of my younger cousins, sec 1 and p5 next year, stayed over. i used to hate it when they stayed over but this time, i was quite alright with it. i wanted to find out how theyve been and just talk. managed to talk with one of them only though. but it was interesting. finding out about how their live's been. how theyve sort of grown to be less childish. anddd theres still that amusing part about the constantlychangingboyfriends and havingnofacewheniamsingle kind of thing in their co-ed school. HAHAHA.

i think i have become more appreciative of my family this year. (:

ok its 6am i shall attempt to fall asleep and hope i dont en d up late tmr. and maybe also get back proper sleeping times.

`5:50 AM__;

Sunday, December 23, 2007

pain is only temporary.
i guess i will succumb it.
some scars go away.
some dont.

it will be christmas eve tmr.
have yourself a merry little christmas......

`11:32 PM__;

Friday, December 21, 2007

im having a headache from hearing too many ppl talking too loudly.
im very annoyed.
i feel awful.
i think im falling into a trap i set up for myself.
i admit i am sort of envious. sort of.
im quite angry with myself.
the people outside my bedroom are very noisy.
i never felt so weak in my entire life today. and if this keeps on going, i'll become weaker. i need to/must do something. i dont want to keep crying to myself. and as i read what i just typed, im disappointed and irritated with myself for always repeating myself for feeling like this. i guess i can be really happy about what i have, but itdoesnt stop the fact on how i feel about this. and when i try to hide it, it doesnt go away.

recently i started thinking about these people i've been passing by in my daily life.
this roadsweeper, maybe she used to work hard but something must have happened to her and thats how she ended up a roadsweeper. i dont think she wanted things to turn out this way.
this taxi driver, he may have had bigger dreams,a nd yet something stopped him from reaching his goal. and maybe if something hadnt had happened, he'd be earning more money for his family right this instant?
will i end up like that?
i realise that im really selfish and have a tendency to get what i want, do what i want (except being able to have longer holidays), and i think it feels really awful, when i cant achieve something i really worked hard for. even in my future. i hope it doesnt happen now. imtrying to tell myself to just lookforward and do what i ahve to do. and do it with all i can. im scared.
i cant make myself live mylife without these insecurities.
i wish i was younger, i wouldnt have these thoughts in my head.
and now what i say seems so meaningless: i need to be more disciplined. i think i tell myself that everyday for about 5 x and it only works for a few minutes.
please, let it all turn out well. please please please please. this hasnt really been a good year.

`10:30 PM__;

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

8th dec, sat, ohmy. i went for trg and jogged girls route. lunch at adam, go home shower meet yihui taka to great world.
9th dec, sun, i forgot what i did.
10th dec, mon, swim trg, meet brenda. we went to ps watch golden compass, i think its not bad. but alot of people dont like it? =/ then we went to vivo.
11th dec, tues, i started on cross stitch.
12th dec, wed, did nothing for trg. went out with sis around orchard, watched full of it. stayed over at jies place.
13th dec, thurs, woke up 645, swim 40laps. went out with cousin to anchorpoint, plaza sing, vivo, bugis. zzz
14th dec, fri, woke up, leg still hurts, skipped trg. slept listening to james blunt new cd: i like 1973 & give me some love. woke up 12pm, went out with sis to anchorpoint & ps. stayed over again.
15th dec, sat, wake up, 40 laps, shower, went home, watch tv & cross stitch until damn late.
16th dec, sun, wake up 12+, 40 laps, watch tv & finish cross stitch. caught up with yihui over the phone. (: dads bday dinner at vivo and walk around until i died.
17th dec, mon, swim trg. lunch at lido, came home crash 4 hours, watched alvin and the chipmunks with dajie, went home, stay up wasting alot of time until 8am.
18th dec, tues, today, woke up 3pm, supposed to be starting on work.

wah. eversince wed i really did swim 40 laps on thurs, sat, sun. and i almost died on sun. i only got a little tanner.. anw. i havent swam 40 laps like 1+year already and doing it thrice this week was zzzz. but it wasnt so bad. :) my leg is better now, i think i should skip one more trg and hope to run on friday! will itbe too kanchiong?

`4:48 PM__;

Friday, December 14, 2007

this sucks. i hate myself. when im not sick im injured. when im not injured im sick. i need some mentor to help me take care of myself. and some drills to teach me how to run properly. right now mdm says its prob a bad strain and attendance is kinda bad cos so many ppl arent around and i couldnt use the opportunity to improve. BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. suckysuckysuckssszzzzzzzzzzzz. i actually bothered to wake up early ytd to swim cos mdm says swimming helps but it didnt help meeeeeeeeee ! well maybe not yet. i'll prob swim on sat sun and monday. dont feel like doing anything today. bla. AHHH heartpain. i stretch so many times also never work. well i guess it should be time i really took a rest properly and hope all will go well after that. but i still think i need more guidance. i need to be patient! patient patient patient PATIENCEEEEE!
on a lighter note, i still havent started work and ive been shopping like crap for the stuff thats been on my shopping list. after today NO MORE SPENDING $$$ since ive almost got everything on my tiny list.. i think. but my mind is set. im going to go on a school-work crash course starting next week till school starts.

i havent been keeping to my word this year. except in terms of trg? im not sure why, but it seems to be the only thing that keeps me disciplined. the only thing that keeps me going. and i need to apply it on to everything else i do. i feel sad angry annoyed disturbed irritated tired and im giving myself other thoughts on how to overcome it but nothing seems to work. maybe i should go back to sleep.

`7:23 AM__;

Friday, December 07, 2007

29th nov, last thurs, NIGHT: i found hercules on youtube! (: watch till damn late
30th nov, last fri, trg, 3km run, watch one episode of hero on youtube, nap 4hrs, watch somemore episodes until 8+am
1st dec, last sat, tapering 1km with leticia, alot of tv.
2nd dec, sun, wake up 4am, stand chart. cannot walk properly. lunch at marina, go home discover blisters. tv zzzz1hr tv zzzz2hr watch another jap show LG till monday 1135am
3rd dec, mon, wake up 645pm, tvtvtv sleep 4+am
4th dec, tues, day with yihui, piano, go queensway mcdonalds explore, see terapins, makan, failed attempt to study. but i managed to do 5 math qns. then i spent the day watching shows with my sis.
5th dec, wed, trg swimswim, makan with leticia, go home, nap 4hours, tv tv tv, youtube chipmunks sleep 1+am
6th dec, thurs, wake up 11+am, read 2 stories from yihui's black juice short story book. then slept from 1+to3+pm, watch chipmunks and other shows until dunno what time. went to bed at 2+am, lie in bed until 6+, i heard my alarm at 645, but slept until 730am 7th dec, fri today. legs still hurt but still rather limpy? my run was very comfortable and yet it hurt to go faster =/ then go acjc kpo track camp, lunch with teo at 6thavenue guthrie house bread place, icecream venezia, explore coldstorage, come home shower, laze around. now this. i want to resume watching chipmunks. but i think later la. i abit sleepy...zzzzz

anyway, i really want to say about today's outing with teo after trg. compared to the other times we go out together, have meals together, today's one well.. it felt more special. (: im not sure how? maybe stuff we talk about or what we did or... i dont know. but today's one felt special and i enjoyed myself though it was just nothing much.
i slept for less than an hour last night. i think i should keep a record of what time i sleep everyday. it interests me on how i change my bio clock so easily. andddddd i ahve to wake up at 0645 again tmr! and i hope my legs dont hurt anymore. blah. i feel so restricted by the aches, like why cant i just heck the pain and just run like the usual?? why does the pain bother me so much. PAIN IS ONLY TEMPORARY!!! so how long is this temporary gonna last??
ps i may be going to thailand next week with teo for her CIP trip... or i'll spend the rest of the hols in my dear home. and maybe actually starting on work.
****ive only slept for about one hour since 3+pm ytd and i am still awake! what should i do nowwwww.......

`3:33 PM__;

Monday, December 03, 2007

ytd wake up 4am,
nap 1hr, then 2hrs
watch jap show on youtube till 1135am today
wake up 645pm.

`6:57 PM__;

Sunday, December 02, 2007

hehhehhehehheheh i amaze myself.
like since last sat's 2 loops, ive been having leg problems everyday. and my sleeping times have been cranky. lets see.. i've been sleeping at these times:
tues night: 2+, 3am to 7
thurs morning: 430am - 2pm
fri morning: 4 - 730am, napped 4hours
sat: 8+am - 1+,2pm then 11pm - 4am.
and i had no trouble sleeping last night. (:

but i was quite worried cos whenever i tiptoed, my feet would hurt, cos its like stretching my toes and they really really hurt. and my shin also hurt, but not very painful kind of hurt. then i was quite scared la.. but for some reason, though this is really irrelevant, i felt quite secure that i could bring a bag and deposit in mr angs car cos in 2005, i rmb being stranded with only a 2$ note and i lost my shirt so i went home in my running attire stinking up the bus. and i rmb trying to take mrt with temporary card but it was $2.30 and then i went into raffles city to find a shop with change so i could take bus home. then i walk all over the place for damn long, emptyhanded with only 2$ worth of coins in my running attire before i finally found the bus stop with a bus that goes to my house. i was like stinking up the whole bus, and i was dehydrated and X_X and felt somewhat like a lonely lost person.
but in today's case, i could bring a bag! i'd have my wallet with me and my ezlink card and everything else.

anw, so leticias dad picked me at 430, went to adelphi, kept wanting to go toilet but they were really unnecessary. i wasnt that panicky but felt a little scared. and surprisingly my heart wasnt beating very badly out of nervousness. i just ran. mr ang say do first 1km fast, then break off abit. i think it helped me to keepmy pace for the rest of the run. it was fun, comfortable and rather relaxing. not too tiring. comfortable enough fo rme to keep a straight calm face throughout the whole run and even like keep my head back up whenever i thought i was slacking. and there were people who suddenly came up from behind me and shout GO AC! mostly within the first 10km. and apparently my 2nd half of the route's 7min faster than my first half! im quite surprised. that hardly ever happens esp in long distance. but the run was fun. though if i compare myself with everybody else i think i'm quite slow despite only stopping 3times to drink. mr ang recommended us to should drink every 5km, then 10km drink electrolyte?? but i took my first sip of water at 7km i think, then water again at 10km, then 100+ after 14km. the 2nd and 3rd time i really finished my cup. i felt that the most annoying parts were like... when i see ppl turning back, i think a Uturn's coming up but i run and run and run for damn long before THE UTURN FINALLY SHOWS. but the worst part was the first 10km, after that everything just fell into place and went by pretty fast. there were also times when alot of ppl overtook me. wahhh but dunno why it wasnt demoralising heh. i went my slowest after 16km though. i think. and i was like looking for the 17 18 19 20 km mark but cannot find!!! thne i run so long i didnt know when i was reaching the end...
i rmbed after i past 10km, i was like eh, still can run, still can last somemore. hahaha and i dunno i just kept running and running and it was like 10x easier than last sat!

anw after i sprinted at my last part, i couldnt reached the end sprinitng cos i kena block by alot of ppl -.- my ending wasnt as deserted as 2005, THERE WERE SO MANY PPL when i ended -.- then after i ended, i still felt like running cos i really kicked at the last part and it also made me realise from the way i kicked that i conserved too much energy -.-'''''' oh well. i managed to keep a calm&composed face, i dont rmb going breathless at all. but i think i ran at my fastest comfortable pace. heh, fun run. haha. i didnt walk! except when i took a cup to drink. okok so after everything ended we went to marina for pizza hut lunch, then walked around and i went home, shower, found 2 blisters. and i cant walk properly. my feet very painful. =/ i napped while watching tv, then i nap another 2more hours and then i dunno what i did until now. i should start on work tmr. =/

BRENDA'S BACK, AUDREY'S COMING BACK ON FRI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D

`10:25 PM__;