maple leaves.

Friday, April 27, 2007

the sweetest of the sweet.

when was the last time i voluntarily did something for someone and it took up more than just minutes of my time?
when was the last time i forced myself to voluntarily do something for someone iknew?
hmm.
hmm,
hmmmzzzzz.

i feel happy, i feel cheated, ifeel loved, i feel mad, i feel crazy, i feel isolated, i feel 1001 things and yet i dont feel 1001 things.

life has been fairly interesting, busy, tiring. and i never fail to have any difficulty sleeping on my bed. plus im so tired i cant talk as much as i could.

heres the odd bit. i'm communicating better more with my parents now which s a good thing. just ytd, my mum and sis quarrelled. and i listened my mum complain to me like i was just her litening ear, her FRIEND (and not her daughter), and it felt funny. but yeah i felt close to her. she was like opening up to her oungest child. hehehehhe. i cant deny i love my parents no matter how many times i can feel annoyed by them.
today that same sis seems to be on good terms with my dad. hurhurhur.
and another weird bit is that, (maybe its not weird), JC life is really ugh.
im experiencing new feelings and perspectives toward many different things, and im still having difficulty coping. I NEED MY SLEEP.

anyway, i think my running has hope now. physio session tday was THE BEST, the most successful, i learnt alot and i felt that it was the most accurate analysis of what is wrong with me. i feel happy. :)

`11:50 PM__;

Saturday, April 21, 2007

so far, ive been spending more than half my days with school (including running)/sleep than being awake at home.

i was supposed to do work today. but i didnt. .__. i think i'll have to chiong again on sunday. but theres no trgon monday so i can do work on monday too! x)
i'm struggling to stay awake, get enoughsleep, get to school on time, and ithink im about to fall sick again.
just now i didnt know i took a nap until i woke up, and i barely remembered walking into my room to sleep. it was a good nap though. x)

and over the pastweek i realised that

i'm really thankful for the people i've known,
i have the coolest, craziest, cutest, sweetest, greatest, smartest, blurrest, most amazing friends (not just referring to those in JC)
PLUS, i have relatively great teachers.
not to mention my familyyyy
and i am very very grateful. i love them alll. :)
what more can i ask for... that they'll feel the same way too? :)

`12:31 AM__;

Thursday, April 19, 2007

hehhh. i feel sohappy today. despite ___, and ___ and screwing up the positions when i was assigned the task to record the positions. -.-" b and c div recording wasnt so bad. but both a div guys and girls recording was abit kapoot. lol.

anyway,
today was a good day.
today was a great day.
today was amazing.
i loved today.
today was super gooddzzz.
today was THE BEST.
today was fun.
today was slack.
i loved today. hehehhehehhe.

i was so happy in school today! cos i was let off at 11, and lucky i only missed lectures and not tutorialzzz. and im very glad, over the moon, slacky, hyper, and aiya.
everytime during natls i always get so inspired by how everyone runs, then i get really really extra pyched up about training and then as the months pass, that motivation/inspiration dies down again until the next natls. nxt year's my last chance. omgoose. this is so stressful.
i got to see MG, tiff, and... other people?
after natls, we went to suntec fish & co! hehh it was nice leh, my first. i like the drinkzzz. food not bad. :) but abit ex. :( okayyy i need to save moneyzzz. boo.

then aftr that i took train back with andrea, darius, allan, shawn, weixiang, eeghim. and i was the first to alight. queenstown's the besttt. but i was almost late for school today lah. -.- i think i should wake up earlier.
i feel very happy (for the whole AC team, MG, tiff, and myself. hahaha) :D :D, and yet i also feel lazy. starting tmr: i wont be lazy, i'll wake up earlier, i'll be good, disciplined. and yes, i really mean it. starting tmr. hehehhehe now i feel so motivated to go to bed. my hair still wet but aiyaa. goodnight. :)
eh who's that person who typed: ...: oei.

`12:48 AM__;

Monday, April 16, 2007

i dont know why, i had this sudden urge to blog again.
like i felt that it was the only way i could tell my friends overseas how's everything since i actually talk quite little online now.
and im stillin that transition state between dnt blog at all and continue bloigging. so i think i'll just continue blogging lah but not so often.

the past week was hectic for me. weekend was madness, everytime i stay up to do work, my mind gives way at 430am and then KO. i fell asleep while doing/reading work on tues, thurs, andlast night.
but tday's tiredness was like the ultimatezzz. i got a shock when i heard my alarm ringing at 630 cos i thught i was still reading gp (but i actually fell asleep while doing so). and i felt so lazy to go through that mrt-to-ac walk, thank goodness leticia's dad was sending her so i managed to get a ride. then i continued scanning gp which became a disaster. i fell asleep during my breaks, the only time i stayed awake was during pe and the 2tests, the rest of the time i was falling asleep quite badly. and she even woke meup in econs. and i have to do:
1 econs
2 study physics,
3 physics tutorial 4
4 pw PI
5 gp articles
6 chinese
7 chem

shall start on pw, then chem? then econs then physics. the rest can dont do tonight. aiya. i dont like pushing my work to do the next day. the teachers' will confirm give us somemore work to do. i did interhouse 1500m today, and my shin never felt any better. the injury's been going on for quite long already. but FINALLY i've made an appt to go for some xray/bone scan next friday. omgoose! i seriously suck. i felt like sleeping somemore right before the run. i actually felt more tired than my long runs even though the speed i went at was slower than my 3:09s. lol. but i realise that lately i havent been able to get that kick to go faster at the last part. i mean i could never go fast enough at the last part, but last time i could go faster, now icant. hah. maybe it was pe. -.-
i felt very pissed during pe. but, i think it was nobody's fault, just me. ._.
my fitness sucks big timezzz now. my mind hasnt changed from before, but body cant take it so well anymore. ahhh. maybe i shouldnt be so stubborn and just stop running and join some cca lke interact club and get good CIP hourzzz and have more time for school work! =/ im supposed to turn into a nerd from this week onwards. isolate myself from the entire world so that i can keep up with my work, but right now i cant even keep up wiith my sleep. my body's tiredness seems to be outdoing my mind's motivation to do work.

i have a bad mosquito bite on my nose that was really itchy. it looks sickzzz thanks to my itchy finger. and my dajie is staying here till thurs, and from fri-sun i'll be so lonely with the maidddddzzz. lol, actually it wont make any difference with the amt of school work i have. i'm still trying to cope, i'm like barely coping now, and i still dont know economics. ahh, tomorrow, i should have sometime to do workzz, crossies gonna collect allthe track pants and etc stuff tmr! (: i feel so excited for them this wednesdayy. ahhhh so coooolll. okay i think my eyes are closing i better go and shower and start work. i cant give quality work like this. :(

nonetheless, i cannot help but feel so thankful for some people. yes i do detest quite a number of people around me, but no i dont want to make anything bad out of it so i'll just keep my distance. and yes im easily annoyed. and i really really feel so grateful for some friends, people, teachers who dont make things worse out of the worst.

`7:34 PM__;