maple leaves.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

heres a short entry for a chnge, it seemed like time stopped the moment my sisters moved out.
its like i do not instantly remember how old they are, but i hae to actually add 3 years to mine to find out erjie's age. nd add 6 years to find out dajie's age. cos i still see my dajie as 19, and erjie as 16 when i dont realise that i myself am 16 now.
i dont want to live in a different home from them. T_T

i want to share my bedroom with them like before.
i hope we can do that again some day soon...

when i say i will, i will. i justneed a deadline.

i'm just so sick of every word that comes out of your mouth.

`4:03 PM__;

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

i dont know why, but i seem fascinated by everything that happens in my life right now, and i think thats why i blog so much. mhmm. so, on sat, i actually went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 1.30pm the next day. i even napped from 4+ to 5.30pm heh. AND THEN.... i started watching youtube around 12am all the way till 1030am on monday (earlier today). afterwhich i went to bed and woke upat 3+pm later on.

bleh. i'm completely crazy over my animeS. -.-" i feel so tempted to watch again, but i have piano tmr at 1, so i need to wake up early before 1245. i just came out of the shower so i guess i should let my hair dry abit and go to bed. =/ i want to watch somemore anime!! X_X i cancelled my run today which i had intended to go with dajie. i dunno why i keep doing things that make me feel guilty. i had a headache though.. aiya but its just a bad excuse. i feel most persistent at night. like i'd lie in bed and tell myself, "tmr I MUST DO THIS I MUST I MUST MUST do this." and then when tmr comes, "aiya heck another day lah." =/ bleah. why am i likethis.

anyway.. during O's this was how my room looked like.

and on the table...

then some time after O's, before i gave my notes to sheryl...

today...

ok. fine i suppose i only cleared my bedroom floor and nothing more.. -.-" and in the pictures, i suppose the mess doesnt look as bad cos i only gave a top view. most of the stuff (3rd & 4th pic) were actually in PILES. you'd also be able to see my cutie/old darling who kept me company while i studied. :)

`2:35 AM__;

Saturday, November 25, 2006

(*pictures of jigsaw puzzle at the bottom of this entry.)

i feel extremely childish. from the things i've been doing lately.
i am becoming a quitter.
THIS IS MADNESS THE SKY'S FALLING. i am not supposed to quit! GRRR. today imet with a few challenges.
i woke up at 4pm ytd, so i couldnt sleep last night. i did my jigsaw till 4am and then i went to bed, fell asleep at 5.45am?? THEN, my annoying trusty phone alarm went ringing at 645. i thought i switched the alarm off (i figured since i'm sick might as well not go for trg and went back to bed), but it was still ringing at 715. -.- and then i rmb, my dear junior wants my notes PLUS I SAID I'M COMING ON SAT, AND i always atten trg whether i'm sick or not, THEREFORE sick or not ALSO MUST GO TRG. ......

so i dragged myself out of bed, rush here and there, and sadly, took a taxi to MR again. grrrrr, i need to really wake up early on sat mornings.
then trg, i was looking forward to doing northern route since i hadnt run in 3weeks. (my 2nd last run was 5 weeks ago.) i ended up having to do 2x girl's route. so i thought, that should be ok.
HOWEVER... i wasnt very comfortable at the beginning, so i thought maybe it's normal, but the moment i came out to the highway, i was dying. i was having a piercing stomachache + headache but i managed to catch up with tiff, and then i lost her and runqian. and then slowly.. i started to die. meanwhile, myy head was telling me to keep on going, dont stop.

when i finished the girls route, i was completely X_X. i couldnt bear to go up that horrid slope and etc, so i ended up joining that p6 girl for 10min run on grass. -.-" i felt so guilty i ended up aing myself staythere for 20min instead of 10. but after i finished that run, i didnt feel good. AHHHHH I AM NOT A QUITTERRRRRRR. grrrr. I WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK! after i do a few self runs, or something like that. its kinda hard to believe that just one year ago, i was loving 12km runs like nobody's business. -.-" malumalu. now i still love 12km runs, but i'll barely last through it now.. :(

mehhh. i realised that once i start something, i cant stop. the only reason i stpped running was cos of my ankle. the whole world was telling me not to run. and after i recoverd, i was getting pains i never got all over my legs. and then, i was having trouble trying to prioritise studies and runnig... part of me was dying to run. the other part, was kinda getting used to the never-ending break from running. but ohwell, i'm back to running again. i hope i can come back to the old timings soon! (: looking forward to more runs, and hopefully, not fall sick so often. -.- maybe its cos of O levels thats why this year i fell sick so many times, usually its just like once a year or something. bleahhh.

i'm trying to decide whther to go to pandan on monday or do self run instead.. the bus ride is like taking foreverrrrr. =/ i dont want to go pandan. but at the same time i kinda want to train with mg. sirhghrotjoirt6. or maybe i should just go do a 40++min selfrun.

i cant help but feel old now that i'm 16. >.<"
my left eye has been hurting since the last 2 days.

anyway, i'm aching now. i am happy. XD oh yeah, after trg today, julia sheryl and i went to ikea, then went home and passed sheryl my notes. (the floor in my room is finally ~~quite~~ empty now) showered, and then did my jigsaw puzzle from 12.45pm to 9.10pm. :D:D:D ITS FINISHED! BAHAHHA total: 26.25hours for 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle. new and only record for the time being. -.-"

and not a single piece missing! :):)

today, the same ass ruined my day. as if i've never done anything right in my life. like i have no reason to be here on this earth. :( i cant be trusted. rather contradicting to the smiles in my previous paragraphs... but oh well. i think i'm gonna sleep this early tonight. before 11? SUPER POOPED. i hope i can wake up after 1230pm tmr.. wonder what id do.. hmmm... prob spend sometime with my anime. practise piano? maybe go run again. o.o

i need to cut my toenails.

`10:05 PM__;

Friday, November 24, 2006

AHHHHHHHHH. the pastweek has been hectic. its hard to believe that just 8 days ago i was sitting in the mg hall doing my last paper - chem...
but anywya, i havent gone back to piano yet. >.<"
i've been going out on friday - tuesday. (fri - vivo with 10 other classmates, sat - shopping with teo, sun - early bday celebration with family, mon - step up [super good] and walking around with brenda, tues - flushed away [VERY funny] and walking around with teo and tiff at orchard)i went out abit ytd and today. but spent most of the time at home watching anime. wah eversince exams ended i've been doing SO SO SO MUCH, even more than what i just said. WAHHH THE HOLS ARE TOO SHORT MAN, i dont think i'm evr gonna feel bored. i think i can stil end this hols and sadly say I'VE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING I WANNA DO. then again, i also not sure lah, hehe but 1 week over lready I STILL WANT TO DO SO MANY THINGS LEHHH. =/

i got my 2000 piece jigsaw on sunday, started on it on monday. couldnt resist. hahaah -.-" then i havent touched it ytd nor today cos i spent the 2 days with brenda. we went on an anime marathon. didnt turn out as well as expected cos i was falling sick. ytd my nose was leaking like mad - wasnt a pleasant bday. but still, it was nice watching anime with a friend. we kinda enjoyed it too anyway. ahhaha :) we were wtching all the way till 3+am and we woke upat 2pm today. hahahhaha. i had a backache nd stomachache when i wke up, and i was feeling REALLY nazle.. =/
then we watched the last 6 episodes of the season till 5+? heh. then wah. rush rush rush go here go there get her thing. >.<" then after that my mum sent her home. the ride in the car really gave me a headache. =/ then after that i got home at 8, walked to bk at ikea with dajie and her bf to da pao dinner haha and dajie went to buy stuff at anchorpoint then briskwalked home to watch my anime and enjoy dinner. XD

havent had bk dinner in ages. super gooood. apart from the burgers, ke, dajie and i shared fries, onion rings, chicken tenders & chicken cheesesticks. super good. it also made me realise how hungry i was. i guess cos my stomach was feeling so weird i couldnt feel my hunger at all.
sickness does things to me. -.-"

oh well, i feel alot better now, but still abit of headache. i hope i can run faster than 46min on sat. =/ a little worried, and abit excited? -.-"

right now, i'm just WANTING TO DO SO MANY THINGS, looking up step up soundtrack lyrics, listening to their songs (some ofthe songs have SUPER GOOD BACKGROUND MUSIC), trying to watch my anime on youtube. and also ranting on to tifftan now. -.-" so malu, i have so manythings i want to do right now i kinda actually feel stressed? heheehehe. after this i'll move on to my anime. x) maybe i'll go to bed after that.. by then it'll be like 3am already. -.-"

tmr i'll spend my day with my jigsaw and tv. XD

i think comp's abit slow.. i seem to be typing too fast for it that some of my words in this entry are actually missing a few letters.

over the week, i came across a few things that really got me thinking.
1.what do you do when your fairytale starts to come alive? do you doubt? or just be happy with it?
2. what do you do when things that are REALLY REALLY UNEXPECTED, like something you'd thought would never ever happen, happens? what do you feel? how would you go on abou it?
well, the 2nd part really happened to me like 2 or 3 times the past week, and i'm still in shock. does it mean that i've lost faith/confidence toward something that id never thought that it'd happen? or.. is it really just that ou of the blue? its kinda creepy... =/

anw for step up soundtrack, i'd recommend petey pablo - show me the money, jamie scott -made, ciara - get up, youngbloodz - i'mma shine SUPER GOOD BACKGROUND MUSIC!!! ok i'm getting my headache back again. -.-" ive been getting headaches since last week. =/ but i think this headache is the headache-cos-i'm-sick kind. okook ANIME TIME. :D

`12:48 AM__;

Saturday, November 18, 2006

i decided to add in another entry cos my prev was wayy too long. i did some personality test. it said that i was a dynamic leader. pretty accurate. then i lost the url, and couldnt get it back. so i did it 1 more time in hope that i'd get the same result. but it now says i'm an animated director. -.-" and then i tried it again, and i got animated director again. -.-" but i think this one's a little more accurate than the prev one. :) maybe i answered some qsn wrongly the first time. anyway, its full details are here. should scroll all the way to the bottom.

about you:
You are a Director

As a DIRECTOR, you combine an unusual openness and passion for beauty and style with confidence and a down-to-earth sensibility that allow you to realize your vision.

You are practical and pay attention to the details that others tend to miss. By focusing on what is real and concrete, you achieve more than those who always have their heads in the clouds.

When it comes to what really matters in your life, you are confident in your ability to succeed.

Having beautiful things in your life gives you pleasure and satisfaction - you have a keen eye for style.

Even when problems present themselves, deep down you know you will overcome these challenges.

When routines get too familiar, you become bored and start looking for ways to spice things up.

You are open to new types of experiences - you are not afraid to take a risk on something new.

You have a highly developed sense of taste - you know what looks good on you, in your home, and in the world at large.

If you want to be different:
Occasionally let yourself dream a little more, even if it doesn't seem practical or efficient.

how you relate to others:
You are Animated

You are outgoing, comfortable with others, and up for anything, which makes you ANIMATED.

Some people find crowds and parties exhausting, but not you! You are able to be yourself in many situations.

Sometimes it is hard for you to understand why others feel the way they do, but that doesn't stop you from trusting them or having faith that they are good people.

You know the world is complicated and that there is often more than one side to a story, so you are careful not to make judgments about others too hastily.

You would rather experience the world than sit back and observe it - you are not one to sit on the sidelines.

You are an independent thinker and don't get too worried about how others might perceive you - you are not self-conscious about being the active, engaged person that you are.

Although you have a keen understanding of different people's life circumstances, you occasionally have trouble seeing why people get so upset and emotional about things - they should just lighten up and have fun!

In addition to having faith in the world, you have faith in the people around you - you trust others to do the right thing and to be honest.

If you want to be different:
Remember that time alone can be just as fulfilling as time spent with others - take some time for yourself (i do that quite often) and you might find that there are many things in your inner world that are just as compelling as the world outside your window. (i just never quite agreed to that.)

Your open-mindedness about the ways of world gives you an understanding of people's differences, but that knowledge doesn't always translate into sympathy. Don't be afraid to let your trust and understanding influence your feelings.

heh i had wanted to watch youtube but now its so late i'm gonna sleep. need to wake up at 11+am tmr cos teo wants to start early. oh well. :)

`4:05 AM__;

mehehehhehe this is so exciting. i feel so crazy. last night i had intended to sleep by 2, but i got so caught up with youtube i didnt sleep till 3.45am ugh, i didnt quite get my 12hours of sleep. i woke up at 3.40pm. nyehhh. i still felt like sleeping somemore when i woke up.

ok nvm so after i woke up, i watched my cartoon and then at 4:30 i went to prepare to go out. and then, i had a clothing + bad hair crisis, ughhh so i left at 5pm, got to the bus stop at 5:15 (time intended to meet) cos i realised it was peak hour i didnt want to take taxi. VIVOCITY is quite big leh! i like the fountain outisde. 11 of us had dinner and i even took photos of caoyu's+my prawn toast and pineapple rice. damn good for a first time! :) i am a happy person. and we had ben and jerry's after that. oh yeah, the rooftop is quite amazing. :)

prawn toast (: good sauce!

pineapple rice! super good.

and the amazing rooftop where we celebrated jo's belated bday. :)

and a ship with really weird stairs good enough for a foot massage if you took off your shoes. sadly there wasnt a group photo.. -.-

someone just ruined my day. idiot. like i really needed to know that. ITS NOT A JOKE you ass. URGHHH. i hate that person right now. I HATE YOUUU.

i refuse to speak to that person for the next ___ days.

anw i'm going shopping tmr. waking up 11+, gonna get my jigsaw puzzle! :)))) aye, i want to watch flushed away! T_T i'm not going to train till next sat. i dunno if i should try to appeal or join acjc trg now.. =/ mhmmm... i think should start on self runs first.

ugh i hate it how someone's words can just ruin my day. URRGGGHHHH. >:(

`1:42 AM__;

Thursday, November 16, 2006

i have successfully stopped myself from coming online/using my comp. :D came home, took 2 hours before i finally came online. whole lot of emails, esp from friendster. -.-" well anyway, since ITS OVERRR. and i have a whole lot of things i can do now and not have the words "study and dont play" resounding in my head.
bahahha this is so exciting. 6 weeks of slacking. :D:D:D cartoon cartoon anime and i think i'm actulaly gonna read books. O.o and + piano. must practise hard. =/ i'm going to become mentally challenged and lose all the math/sci/etc knowledge in my head.

i missed the chance of going overseas this year again, but this time it was cos i didnt want to go. =/ i want to go alaska, NZ, europe, china, africa, south america.

have you ever thought that someone would not say what was on your mind? (rhetheorical qsn)
well, hardly anyone ever guessed what was in my head correctly.
and unexpectedly, today, one of my classmates actually hit the jackpot.

i was shocked. its not something i come across every year of my life. in fact, it felt like it was the first time, someone hit the jackpot. saying exactly what it was without even knowing it until i told her.

eeyer i think i'm very stupid leh. i wanted to speak to someone online. i open the convo window and then i went to do something else then now shes offline. =.=

i'm going shopping tmr. i'm not very excited.
i want to go running on sat, actuallly tmr. but i'm kind of trying something new, such that i dont think i'll go for training on sat though i rEALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO! =/ i've only ran once in 4 weeks!!! this is madness. TT_TT

i'm very angry. i'm so sososososo angry. I NEED A HUGE BOX. i cant bear to burn my stuff, besides, i have some hardworking juniors who want my notes. i just need this HUMUNGOUS BOX TO DUMP ALL MY SECONDARY SCHOOL WORK IN. ERFKGJNEROKYJOERT GRRR. i even filed up every single one of my wshts just to study them for O's. i cant wait to discard them. so exciting. but cos i cant do it now that o's are over. I'M SO ANGRYY. I WANT A BIG BOX.

on a lighter note, my last day of school will be on tues, not wed. T_T i'm looking forward to a particular day sometime next week. because ITS THE DAY I'M GONNA GO CRAZY watching anime with afriend. SO EXCITTINGGGGG.
i want to watch flushed awayyyy. alot of ppl wanna watch casino royale (-.-), and i'm gonna watch step up soon. but i also want to watch flushed away......... gah.

oh ya, i better call my cousin up. got things to do with her. :D
i think its weird on how i dont fall asleep in the bus. in fact, i am grateful.
i am grateful that i never once fell asleep or felt sleepy in any of my papers despite having slept for less than 1 hour on some nights. the maximum amount of sleep i had the each night recently were 4hours i think. there were a few exceptions of friday - saturday nights where i slept for more than 5hours waking up about 4 times in between. it was pretty annoying.

i am grateful that despite sleeping at unearthly hours of the morning/night. having spent only 30min-5hours max of sleep every day, i am not sick.

though however, there were a few brief moments, like phys paper 1, i used up 2 packets of tissue in that 1hour. but used none in the next hour during paper 2. heh.
there was also ytd, when i didnt want to admit i was really sick. i was having a headache. cos i slept for about an hour before physics. after physics, the headache came at about 2+pm, it was hard to sleep in sch cos i ended up getting pins and needles resting for too long on my arm. my mum sent me home, and i felt dizzy the whole car ride. i slept for 30min and left for school again. the car ride was really dizzy but i was very very grateful.

i am also grateful that when i got to class before geog started, jasvir offered me a few sips of redbull that got me really kicking. in fact, the headache disappeared in 5min. hahahahha. effects of red bull. and i am also grateful for 4 or 5 other people in the A Band, of which i'm not so close friends with now, but still friends. who have helped me differently for each paper. i dont think they'd even realise it.

the little hours of sleep has got my eyes looking like real cool pandas. i kinda like the panda eye effect. my eyes feel so heavy. even right now, i bet i'll fall asleep if i go to bed immediately and not suffer insomnia like the past few days. but i dont wanna go to bed now. i want to wake up at 3pm tmr. hehehehhehe. i'm gonna try and stay up as long as possible so that i can sleep for >12hours. x)

ok this is madness, i've typed so muchhhhhhhhhhh. X_X in the next 6 weeks, I'M GOING TO
- buy my jigsaw puzzle
- GET IT FRAMED UP
- i dunno about shopping
- watch animeS on youtube like mad
- look forward to a few stayovers.
- piano
- run
- hurr ithought the list was longer than this but oh well. i can settle with this for now.

blogger has this new beta thing i dont want to get a google account. T_T i'm still using the old one.. ok i better stop now.

`9:00 PM__;

Thursday, November 02, 2006

im so UGGH NOW. grr and this page took so long to load. i was supposed to stop using the comp ytd, but =/ oh well. i had my lit paper today. NO MORE EOTP FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE HAHAHAHHA!
GRRRR I'M SO ANGRY. i just want to strangle herr. BUTTHEADD.

anyway. I FINALLY RAN TODAY. after 2 weeks! and i think i was so desperate i survived running on the treadmill for 45min + 5min cool down. BWAHAHAHH. i was dying of boredom but i managed to convince myself to stay till 45min were over. i occupied my mind with alot of __ things. and i successfully managed to stop myself from decreasing the speed/stopping. i covered only 7++km on flat ground. -.-" oh well, then dajie did 100 sit ups, and seeing her doing it made me feel like doing it too, so i did. hehhehe -.-" then we ran home! which is only about 200-300metres away. heheheh. my left leg kinda feels weird now. =/

but my run today was amazing, i never felt so comfortable on the treadmill before. my strides actually felt quite big? hmm. pretty odd though. i think i'm gonna ache tmr. =/

oh ya, and about 1 hour ago, IT WAS THE ULTIMATE. 1 humungous hyper cockcroach came up behind me and dajie started screaming like mad, and then i screamed and i broke into a laughter that sounded like i was crying. prob a mix, between laughter and crying.
and then about 5-10min later. "SCREAM" ANOTHER HUMUNGOUS HYPER COCKCROACH COMES UP FROM BEHIND ME AND STARTS FLYING AROUND THE HOUSE. and we both screamed and i cried/laughed again . =/ but anyway both times were really traumatizing. X_X never felt so :S before. rather comical though.

and then my mum goes on about how our screams are scaring the cockcroach. -.-"
cockcroach -> childhood phobia. learnt it from my sisters. they used to scream at the sight of it, and i learnt to do the same. ANW hopefully after today i'll never use my comp again until the 16th (unless i need help). i'm gonna keep my laptop somewhere, prob in the maid's room so that it'd be out of sight. -.-" if i ever come online, it'll prob be on my sis comp or something.

`11:58 PM__;