maple leaves.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

GOOD DAY. the sun's shining and its going to be lunch time. x)

i'm gonna eat fast food. =X unhealthy after a run? but i drank some healthy stuff!
i miss eating fast food [e.g. Mc donalds.. BK.. KFC] :( i swear i havent eaten any of that for like 2 or 3 months already!! X_X
i'm so deprived. [ya right.]

haha anyway i slept at 10+last night. slightly later than target but heck i think its still early.
then trg seemed as boring as on thurs at first.. but suddenly everyone seemed to be going pretty fast and towards SICC.. i suddenly became super energised! and i felt as though i was going faster and it felt quite relaxed and not forced! i'll tell you my RPE is lower. xD

AND.. credits for being my energy booster: sheryl teo LOL

teacher's day is cominggggggg.. x) and so are the exams. -.-

ohh.. ytd during assembly. the sky was SO SCARY and damn cool ^^ it was dark above the science labs building.. and within a few mins.. THE WHOLE SKY WAS GREY. supersuper cool effect ^^ but not very nice mood i suppose. heehee.. -.-"

oh well. time to go. byebye! :)

`12:23 PM__;

Friday, August 26, 2005

darn. 2A1s 3 B3s 1 F9 for this term. and 2 more unknowns for chinese and combine humans.
i think i wont be able to even get a b3 average this time. :(

that F9.. amazing.. can my physics get any lower? if you put the scores of my physics test/exam results in chronological order in a graph.. you'll realise its like one straight diangonal line going downwards from left to right.
the scores just keep getting lower.. fail.. and then fail even worse. grr.

i need a physics tutor.
or more like someone who can explain and motivate me into doing practice.
and someone who can help me make myself relax when i'm doing a physics test/exam.

GAHH.

i dunno what to do. i know my dad can help me. but =/ i dunno what to ask him! X__X

anyway. today's a long entry since my tuition got cancelled and i'm "quite bored". i got hwk to do heh. =X well.. now i'm not in the mood to do any work. esp after i got my physics test back.
plain upsetting :'(

oh well. i was thinking.. after surfing through a few blogs and talking to some ppl.
LTC. and responsibility.
everything that comes to us that we dont even ask for. and we still do it.
THEY'RE JUST OUT TO MAKE US CHALLENGE OURSELVES AND MAKE SURE WE SCREW IT UP!
andthen.. our time management gets screwed screwed up. hmph.

i think i really really lost my focus. like ytd's run. i just ran to run. nothing was in my head. and suddenly poof! i'm going home already. o.o
and as i did some stuff.. my mindset was like "aiya wrong then get wrong lah"
that is such a bad bad attitude towards work.

but i feel so lazy now.. DONT WANT TO DO!! [obviously duh i have to do though]

and now i just do whatever i have to do just for the sake of doing it.. no interest.. no focus. =/

exams are coming!! WHAT AM I THINKING..

i shall subject myself to any change at ease. [i.e. i am not stressed!! >=(]
i am sad. :(

i've been extra extra quiet. fell down during pe today. so violent! >.<" quite fun in some way.. but aiya i'm still not happy at the moment.
i am going to sleep early tonight. hopefully one day i'll find out how to do what i wanna do. :)
fat hope. i think i'm hoping too much.
but nothing's impossible right? :D

IF ANYONE SEES ME ONLINE AFTER 10PM TONIGHT. NAG AT ME TO GO TO BED.

`3:52 PM__;

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

gah. i failed piano. and i think i'm gonna do quite badly this term. :(

school events suck. grr. it makes my time management go booboo. and now i wanna retake grade 8 again. waste money? waste time? but i still wanna finish grade 8. =/

!!!!

i suddenly feel so so so so lousy. VERY LOUSY. urgh.

it wont be nice when anyone read this entry. =/

this is so so saddening. X_X

seriously. i need to have a goal in life or i'll get nowhere. everything i've been working hard for is just wasted effort. >=(

and it'll probably make things better if i was much more confident and more decisive.
but thats partially the problem. i know my weakness but i dunno how to overcome it.

`7:11 PM__;

Monday, August 22, 2005

hello hello!

i finished harry potter last friday! :D heeheeheeheehee.

i learnt how to make a simple friendship band over the weekend! my first try had nice colour combi =X but it kinda sucked =/ but i thought it looked nice though. heh. how contradicting. =X

i love my erjie!! and anything associated with durians.. heehee. =X

went out with a few b2 ppl on sat after trg.. went to watch must love dogs.
quite an ok and funny show. but it wasnt horrid. I WANNA WATCH BROTHERS GRIMM. :X
the outing was kinda nice. hahaha but amanda kept pushing us at the last second when we took neoprints or putting her hand at the screen -.-" but we did sabo her back in the end. :D some turned out pretty nice anw. :) and it was fun. :D

then when i was going home i couldnt find the bus stop. i ended up walking one whole round outside cine in the rain before i found it. zzz. -.- stupid construction. grr.

hmm. its week 9 already =/ exams are coming. i need to start planning my study-timetable soon. >.<" and must leave out some days for trg and have some time for PEA and piano?
on a lighter note.. teacher's day is coming soon! another public holiday :D before the term break which i think alot of sec3s will still have to wake up early to go back to school --.

anw i just showered. gonna study physics soon. and i got chance to sleep early! ^^

`7:33 PM__;

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

this feels so weird.
i'm suddenly gonna have so many hrs of sleep today! :D

ok. shall read harry potter to sleep. x) its been a tiring past-2-days.

i actually almost fell asleep in the bus on the way home today! havent done that in ages lol..

that goes to show how much sleep i need. heh. -.-"

i think i've unleashed the monster within someone.
now i feel bad. :(
must put that monster back in. eeks. so hard. =/

AND. I NEED TO GET BACK SOME FOCUS.

ok shall go to bed and read at the same time now. haha. :D byebye.

`9:23 PM__;

Sunday, August 14, 2005

HELLLLLO.
i feel good. :D:D:D:D

on the other hand.

i am guilty -.-"

i havent done physics nor have i studied for chem and i've done absolutely everything i could do for tmr! [i think] :D

gahh
I havent written a happy entry for ages

SO I SHALL WRITE A HAPPY ONE NOW. :D :D

i, the slower reader, HAVE COMPLETED READING MORE THAN HALF OF harry potter's 6th book! bwahahhaha. :D:D:D

then as soon as i'm done with this chpt.
i shall get down to physics! xD

`4:37 PM__;

Saturday, August 13, 2005

this isnt the first time
and you give me this approach as if you're just depending on me for all this stuff and i'm just being taken advantage of

even if that's not your intention
I DONT WANNA HELP.

why dont you make it a point to be more responsible about it
you can do it for other stuff right? WHY CANT YOU DO THE SAME FOR THIS?!

you really take me as an idiot? :(
haiya either way i also dont want to help lah. GRR.

`5:30 PM__;

Friday, August 12, 2005

~~stupid girl~~
i need to stop calling myself stupid. i FAILED PHYSICS :'(
i need to learn to handle failure better. i was tearing again in class -.-" lucky hardly anyone noticed. heh.

ok. i'm worried. GAHHHH TIME FLIES SO DAMN FAST. ITS LIKE THE END OF WEEK 7 TERM 3 ALREADY!! :S

man this sucks. if i find out SLs dont get points at the end of the year. i'll feel like a fool taken for granted. [times infinity]

i'm supposed to resume piano lessons.. should be starting on theory work.. heh. but i havent. -.-"

gosh.. this year went by so quickly.
and i need to build up on my self-confidence
get back/get more focus!
have a little bit more discipline.
stay more positive + happy.

i feel like i've just set up a trap for myself to walk into.
i'm waking up early for trg tmr! *yawn*
and i shall continue reading harry potter.. =X must try to finish it by sept hols esp for a slow reader like me and with all the tests coming up.. =/ its interesting! but i get sleepy after reading for too long i suppose.. -.-"

whoa. now when i stand/walk.. my arms feel so weak as if they're gonna drop off -.-" good thing i dont have skin that can stretch so easily. heh. i.e. they wont drop off. :)

`9:21 PM__;

Thursday, August 11, 2005

OMG TRICIA CHONG YOU STUPID ASSHOLE. HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE SUCH A THING?! GAHHHHHHHH.

YOU STUPID GIRL.

i enjoy scolding myself when i think i have done something wrong. in a way.. its quite funny. =X

BUT. i dont even take it too heart. not that i dont take it seriously..

my weakness is SO OBVIOUS. i dunno how to get rid of it!! i'm trying to but gahhh. i dunno how.. so hard. >.<"

and you know what. i've been doing STUPID THINGS.

i deserve caning and a thousand slaps.

i mean it. it'll hurt so bad. but AIYAH i dont think i'll actually do anything about it! it may not work.

stupid girl.

and i just complained about 3 stupid things i have done over the past 24hours.
here's another stupid thing. :)
i went to bed at 12.30am. i was still awake at 2am. -.-

ok. i feel stupid enough. goodbye. :D

`8:52 PM__;

Monday, August 08, 2005

i am TIRED.

woohoo! i can wake up late tmr.
ANDDDD.. i can sleep as long as i want tonight.
YYYYYAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

had good busines today :D but i felt real dirty when i got home. changed early.. slacked a while and then i napped for like 5-10 mins before i left.
i have concluded that i will leave home 50mins before training starts whenever i have to go mr.
i went running with renuka today. :)
now.. i am extra tired.

but what the heck.. i'm gonna get extra rest. ^^

i think mr q's words are getting into me. today i took more note on the need for rest and other stuff.. or maybe its just cos today i had the 4th >45min run within 7 days which i'm not used to and could be why i feel extra tired. heh. - not enough rest -.-"

then again.. maybe its just me today lah. later i might go back to normal. oops. =X

sometimes i really wonder do i really want to become someone who has to learn to say no to certain things? some maybe unnecessary..but not all arent?? >.<" then again sacrifices arent unexpected i suppose.. no pain no gain.. all of it has a purpose.. =/

ok heck. I'M GOING TO SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT ~~as soon as i settle my proposal~~. YAY. byebye. xD

`9:31 PM__;

Thursday, August 04, 2005

HIIIII.. i'm so proud of myself. =X
ok i'm just being ego. i know there are those who are way better than me.

i'm slacking too much. but heck. i feel good. no more hwk due tmr so still can relax for now =X

maybe i'll make more stars again! haha kill somemore time.

or do tuition hwk!
NO. tonight's slack night. dont do hwk.

hmm.. sleep early! hopefully by 11? i must rmb there's pe tmr eventhough there's no training. cos i only bring my pe shirt on training days. haha. now must wear on mon thurs fri sat.. -.-

i feel more relaxed. dunno whether if its good or bad.. =/ i've been in a smiling mood today since i came home. haha. :) was listening to alanis morisette's uninvited. i think it sounds nice though it brings about some -.- mood.

anyway i got more sleep this week! :) lit test today was awfully WEIRD. my first question was like 2.5 pages X_X and my 2nd question was done in about 10 minutes and it took up one whole page. i am amazed. i wrote on like all 4 sides.. -.-"

`9:06 PM__;

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

hello! i think i have *great* time management. BECAUSE.. i have finished maths and physics! haha -.- just had tuition.. gonna study lit after dinner.. and now its so early so decided to update abit.. :) bwahaha i'm so happy with my time management. =X [i still have to pack my room eversince dunno when and still got tuition hwk and that ying yong wen which isnt due anytime soon. -.-"]

i spent saturday to yesterday making 200 stars. i sound so free.. -.-" i have to admit i've been sleeping earlier.. :)

hmm.. hannah's leaving soon. =/

gosh i lovvvvveeeeeeee singapore. they have the greatest national day holidays. =X and i'm gonna be selling cai tao kway [carrot cake] for 1+hr next monday! HOW DID I GET INVOLVED IN THIS?! GRRR..

nvm. i better not let myself get involved in ANYTHING else related to school other than that geog thing and PEA for lower sec. grrr. stupid chong hou zhen.

ok. i'm abit sleepy. gonna nap a while. =X hopefully can wake up later.. hahaha byebye! (:

`5:41 PM__;